Why I probably won't use your pronouns
Raising Awareness for Third Person Rights
When asked what pronouns I use, I say that I prefer to use “I, me, myself” pronouns. I am the first person, and as such, I speak using first person pronouns. I would refer to myself in no other way. When speaking directly to me, it’s appropriate for you refer to me with “you, your” pronouns. To me, you are the second person, and vice versa. If you’re talking about me and I’m not there, use the third person pronouns which you believe describe me most accurately. Though I am a woman, I do not use the “she, her” pronouns. I am the first person. It would be strange for me to refer to myself as though I were the third person – I cannot have that relationship with myself. The one who uses “she, her” pronouns is you, and as such, the decision to use them is yours.
It’s strange to me that people would try to enforce third person pronouns, assuming prematurely (and rather narcissistically) that I intend to speak of them to others. I don't think I have any ownership over what others say about me behind my back. Why should I get to dictate what you say about me? If I had that power, I would demand that you speak of me only as “kind” and “intelligent”, despite whatever you might actually think. How would I monitor whether you followed through with my demand? Good question. I have no idea. I’m not even there. If I were there, we would no longer relate as third persons, but as the second.
I think you should describe me as you see me. Describe me in accordance with your most honest interpretation of who I am. I have no desire for you to hide your true thoughts about me – especially when I’m not even there. Should I desire to identify as a man, and yet you still see me as a woman, speak of me as such. You are the third person – the third person pronouns are yours to use. Pursue truth and speak how you will.
In more recent times, people have become very concerned with stripping away the freedoms of the third person. Of course, we want to be respectful – but if I see you as a moron, I will describe you as a moron, and if I see you as a man, I will describe you as a man. It’s my right as the third person to do so. I do not deny your existence by doing this – I merely interpret your existence according to my own worldview, and perhaps my worldview states that there is no meaningful distinction between sex and gender.
It may sound radical, but I find it more important to be inclusive of ideas in general, rather than a small subset of ideas focussed on a contentious interpretation of gender. People should be allowed to express themselves and their beliefs without being impinged upon by others. I have my own beliefs about the world that I’m trying to express, and I ask that my self-expression be not impinged upon by some violation of my third human rights. When acting as the third person, I should not be forced to express the beliefs of the first person. I have no desire to propagate an agenda I do not agree with.
Third person rights are under attack. Please do your part to raise awareness. *emotional sob*