On Premarital Sex

Christian Moral Thinking Case Study 2021

Sexual desire is natural and God-given, but these desires can become a temptation which overrides caution and wise judgement. Particularly among young people, the desire to engage in sexual activity now seems far more appealing than having to wait until marriage. In the eyes of the Catholic Church, premarital sex is always immoral, for it violates the virtues of chastity, charity, and human dignity, and threatens the sacredness of sacramental marriage. Similarly, Scripture is certainly against fornication, and desires for sex to stay within the marital union as designed by God. Practical reasoning is also largely opposed to premarital sex, as it may lead to pregnancy and/or dysfunctional relationships in the future. Some may argue for fornication between engaged couples, who are already committed to getting married – however, nothing is certain. In fact, it might very well be that to love someone is the strongest reason to refrain from premarital sex, to avoid harming them and causing them to sin against God.

THE GOODS AT STAKE

Sexuality is a divine gift and sphere of the human experience which sits, among other things, at the nucleus of the human person.[1] Sexual intercourse is the highest expression of sexuality, and when done within the context of marriage, in which the couple is “intimately and chastely united with one another,” it is “noble and worthy” (Humanae vitae, 1968). Outside of marriage, however, it is disordered and defiled. As defined in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, fornication is “carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman” (CCC 2353) – that is, premarital sexual intercourse. This is to be distinguished from adultery, in which a couple, of whom at least one is married to somebody else, has sexual relations (CCC 2380, “marital infidelity”). Fornication is regarded as a violation of the 6th Commandment against adultery, interpreted more broadly by the Catholic Church to refer to human sexuality as a whole (CCC 2336). At stake are the goods of sacramental marriage, chastity, human dignity, and charity.

Chastity is a sub-virtue of temperance. Temperance refers to the use of reason to restrain human desires/passions for sensual pleasures. Chastity, more specifically, refers to the restraint of the sexual appetites. It is “the successful integration of sexuality within the person” (CCC 2337). Chastity involves a lifelong apprenticeship in self-mastery and an integration of intellect, will, emotion, and body. It liberates the human person from the passions. Additionally, it is closely related to the concept of charity and human dignity. Kelly writes that, because sex is inherently social, “we are bound not to induce others to sin… and we must also take reasonable means to prevent their sinning” (1941). It would be an act against charity[2] to cause another to give into sexual passions. This is because, as Barclay writes, “the hallmark of a man is self-control” (1972). To allow sexual appetites to master us is to allow the animal passions to reign supreme – it is a failure to be fully human. Man gains dignity when he rids himself of slavery to the passions and strives for what is good (CCC 2339). Fornication is therefore contrary to human dignity and the natural order of human sexuality (CCC 2353).

Marriage is a lifelong partnership covenant between a man and woman, ordered toward the mutual good and procreation (CCC 1601). Keane writes that only in marriage can sexual intercourse accomplish “all the goodness for which such acts are apt” (1977). Marriage serves as a witness of God’s love. An essential element of the sanctity of marriage is the way in which it imitates the Creator’s generosity and fecundity in the flesh (CCC 2335) and acts as a symbol of the relationship between God and the Church (Eph. 5:25).[3] Sex outside of marriage is contrary to its purpose (CCC 2352), rejecting the unitive and procreative nature of the sexual union. Barclay writes that it is an attempt to claim privilege without responsibility[4] (1972) – to desire the pleasure, but not the full reality, of sex. John Paul II speaks of a “prophetism of the body,” in which the body speaks the language of God, which is love.[5] Those who practice fornication are false prophets, for with their bodies they profess full and lifelong commitment – lying to one another. Sex is an expression of the marriage bond, and if this bond does not exist, then sex is stripped of its reason for being.

THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS

Throughout history, most theologians and Christian traditions have held that sexual intercourse outside of marriage is immoral, and that there is a good scriptural basis for this. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul writes that, should one lack self-control, it is better to marry (v9) so as to avoid ‘sexual immorality’ (v2). The term here, πορνεια, is regularly used in the New Testament to refer to sexual sin, however, it fails to specify exactly which sexual acts are immoral. Some scholars[6] have argued that πορνεια does not include fornication, however context makes this unlikely. Like many cultures of the ancient middle east, Israelite culture did not take fornication lightly. Shveka and Faust write that “the wealth of ethnographic data… shows that harsh treatment of premarital sex [was] common” [7] (2020). Virginity was prized[8], and fornication could be punished with shame, scorn, monetary compensation, and death (i.e., “honour killing”). Given this, πορνεια can be understood to include fornication, which makes sense of why Paul seems to present marriage as the antidote to πορνεια. Note that Paul advises them to “get married,” not just “get a sexual partner.”

Premarital virginity is assumed regarding Sarah, despite her having been married seven times before, each husband having been killed by a demon before the marriage was consummated (Tob. 3:8). Likewise, if not for premarital virginity, Joseph could not have known that Mary’s child was not his own (Mat. 1:18-19). Hebrews 13:4 is also often understood as a prohibition of fornication, implying that the sexual union is defiled when not done within marriage. From the beginning, it is plain to the reader that God designed sex for marriage (Gen. 2:24, 4:1). The procreative function of the sexual union should also be taken note of (Gen. 1:28), alongside the fact that the building of a family thrives and is best supported by the stable marital union. The seriousness of sex exists even within the context of prostitution (1 Cor. 6:16). It is physically, emotionally, and spiritually binding in a way that nothing else is, which is why it should only be done within a committed married relationship. Given all this, it should be clear that Scripture is opposed to fornication.

PRACTICAL REASONS

It is difficult to do justice to the discussion on fornication without at least briefly mentioning some practical reasons why it should be avoided. Of course, premarital sex leads to a higher risk of contracting STDs and of pregnancy,[9] and once the line has been crossed, it is very easy to cross it again, only increasing the risk. Kelsey writes that anyone who has “sexual relationships is playing Russian roulette with the life of a child” (1986). A child should be able to expect to have two mature and loving parents, who are in a secure married relationship, that are financially able to provide for and raise him (Donum vitae, 1987). By extension, he has a right to be regarded as a gift from God, not a “burden” or “accidental pregnancy.” If a person is not ready to leave home and take responsibility for a family, then they are not ready for sex. Perhaps counterintuitively, fornication also increases one’s chances of experiencing a break-up, unhappy marriage, being cheated on (i.e., adultery), and/or divorce.[10] Casual sex cheapens intimacy and demonstrates an implicit acceptance of sex outside of the confines of marriage (West, 2000). Additionally, premarital sex widens the possibility of forced marriages or being fooled into marrying someone less than ideal. West wisely remarks that a dissoluble and uncommitted sexual relationship cannot prepare a couple to embrace an indissoluble and life-long sexual relationship (2000).

OTHER CONSIDERATIONS

More recently, a minority of Christians have argued that, because Scripture does not explicitly forbid it, perhaps fornication is permissible in certain circumstances.[11] The view is based on the idea that it is the quality of the relationship, not the presence of marriage, which draws the moral line. Perhaps marriage is a process, not something static, as though it began only with the wedding. Curran writes that “emphasis on the physical aspect and the individual act apart from the person fails to do justice to the full meaning of human sexuality” (1970). If a couple is deeply committed and intends to marry, then surely their relationship expresses the reality of marriage, despite having not had the ceremony.[12] Furthermore, it may be the case that such an engaged couple is delayed from getting married due to, for example, university, military service, or financial restraints. Surely a couple should not have to deprive themselves of intercourse due to factors beyond their control.

One must sympathise with a couple in such a position, but keep in mind that these cases are rare. For many couples, marriage is a readily viable option, and for many others, the lack of such an option is a pure reflection of the immaturity of the relationship. Keane, agreeing that there may be rare exceptions, remarks that if a couple commits fornication and does not get married once the opportunity arises, they are morally accountable all the more. It must always be remembered that, however much two people intend to get married, life is uncertain. Even the closest relationship can fall apart. C S Lewis warns that “whenever a man lies with a woman, there, whether they like it or not, a transcendental relation is set up between them which must be either eternally enjoyed or eternally endured” (The Screwtape Letters, 1942). A loving partner desires to minimise the suffering of those they love, and fornication certainly opposes this desire. Fornication can lead to additional violations of charity, as it is often done in secrecy, anxiety, and haste. This both encourages the couple to lie and degrades the sexual union. As already stated, intercourse speaks the language of God’s love, of the marriage bond, and anything less is a counterfeit. Regardless of how committed they feel, engaged couples must realise that they are not yet married – they are not yet husband and wife. It is misguided to regard the raw material of love (i.e., emotions, attractions) as the completed form. A couple should be careful to avoid seeking how much they can “get away with.” If this is their approach, then they “will be unable to see the Church’s teaching as the good news that it is” (West, 2000). A person transformed by the Spirit is not seeking to “get away” with anything. Sprinkle expresses the seriousness of this issue, writing that fornication “mocks the Creator’s will and elevates human desire over God’s wisdom” (2015).

CONCLUSION

God created sex and declared it to be good. And certainly, its power to bind a husband to his wife, and vice versa, is exceedingly good! Likewise, marriage is also an exceedingly good gift from God. However, both sex and marriage can become disordered when they are used contrary to their purpose. Outside of marriage, sex cannot express the marriage bond, which is its reason for being. The Catholic Church is opposed to fornication, for it fails to respect the virtues of chastity, charity, human dignity, and marriage. This stance is clearly drawn from Scripture, which regards sex and marriage as an expression and symbol of both God’s nature and relationship with His people. Similarly, on the practical level, fornication is not viewed favourably, and even between engaged couples, the voice of wisdom warns against premarital sex. A couple truly in love ought to heed the words of Paul, to “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts” (Rom. 13:14).

[1] The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality, 1995. [2] The virtue by which we love God and neighbour (CCC 1822). [3] Within Scripture, sexual relationship is a reoccurring symbol for the relationship between God and His people. [4] Wood lists social, procreative, and financial responsibilities (1968). [5] Language of the Body Strengthens the Marriage Covenant, 1983. [6] E.g., Malina (1972), directly refuted by Jensen (1978). [7] Submitting Deut. 22:20-21 as an Old Testament example. [8] Particularly for women, who could become pregnant or have their hymen broken. It would have been impossible to prove that a man had committed fornication. [9] Other than permanent surgeries, no contraception is 100% safe. [10] See Stanton (2011) and Wolfinger (2016) in references. [11] This view, of course, is dishonest and neglects context (as we have seen). [12] Some may distinguish between premarital and pre-ceremonial intercourse.

Barclay, William. “The Essential Purity.” The Old Law & The New Law. Edinburgh: Saint Andrew Press, 1972, 32-36.

Burns, Jim. “Why Wait?” Radical Love. Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 1995, 21-42.

Catholic Church. Catechism of the Catholic Church. Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 2003. https://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG0015/_INDEX.HTM

Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith. “PERSONA HUMANA [Human Personality].” Vatican. 1975. https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19751229_persona-humana_en.html

Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith. “INSTRUCTION ON RESPECT FOR HUMAN LIFE IN ITS ORIGIN AND ON THE DIGNITY OF PROCREATION REPLIES TO CERTAIN QUESTIONS OF THE DAY.” Vatican. 1987. https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19870222_respect-for-human-life_en.html

Curran, Charles E. “Sexuality and Sin: A Current Appraisal.” Readings in Moral Theology: Dialogue About Catholic Sexual Teaching no. 8. 1970, 405-417.

Dominian, Jack. “Marriage Under Threat.” Readings in Moral Theology: Dialogue About Catholic Sexual Teaching no. 8. 1992, 444-449.

Jensen, Joseph. "Does Porneia Mean Fornication? A Critique of Bruce Malina." Novum Testamentum 20, no. Fasc. 3 (1978): 161-184.

John Paul II. “Language of the Body Strengthens the Marriage Covenant.” Eternal Word Television Network, 1983. https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/library/language-of-the-body-strengthens-the-marriage-covenant-8444

John Paul II. “FAMILIARIS CONSORTIO [The Fellowship of the Family].” Vatican. 1981. https://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/apost_exhortations/documents/hf_jp-ii_exh_19811122_familiaris-consortio.html

Keane, Philip S. “Heterosexual Expression, Marriage and Morality.” Readings in Moral Theology: Dialogue About Catholic Sexual Teaching no. 8. 1977, 418-443.

Kelly, Gerald. “Practical Moral Principles.” Readings in Moral Theology: Dialogue About Catholic Sexual Teaching no. 8. 1941, 392-404.

Kelsey, Morton T., and Barbara. Kelsey. “Overcoming Our Sexual Fears and Directing Our Sexual Energies.” Sacrament of Sexuality: The Spirituality and Psychology of Sex. Warwick, NY: Amity House Inc., 1986, 209-219.

Loader, William. “Marriage and Sexual Relations in the New Testament World.” In The Oxford Handbook of Theology, Sexuality, and Gender, p. 189. OUP Oxford, 2014.

Loader, William R G. “Before Marriage.” Making Sense of Sex: Attitudes Towards Sexuality in Early Jewish and Christian Literature. Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2013, 45-47.

Paul IV. “HUMANAE VITAE [Of Human Life]”. Vatican. 1968. https://www.vatican.va/content/paul-vi/en/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae.html

Pontifical Council for the Family. “THE TRUTH AND MEANING OF HUMAN SEXUALITY.” Vatican. 1995. https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_08121995_human-sexuality_en.html

Shveka, Avi, and Avraham Faust. “Premarital Sex in Biblical Law: A Cross-Cultural Perspective.” Vetus Testamentum 70, no. 2 (2020): 316-339.

Sprinkle, Preston. “Where Does the Bible Say Extra-Marital Sex is Wrong?” Relevant. 2015. https://www.relevantmagazine.com/life5/relationships/where-does-bible-say-extra-marital-sex-wrong/

Stanton, Glenn T. “PREMARITAL SEX AND GREATER RISK OF DIVORCE.” Focus on the Family. 2011. https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/premarital-sex-and-greater-risk-of-divorce/

Trimbos, C. J. “Sex and the Engagement Period.” Married or Single?: Healthy Attitudes Towards Love and Sex. London: Chapman, 1964, 70-76.

West, Christopher. “What to Do Before ‘I Do’: Chastity Outside of Marriage.” Good News About Sex & Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions About Catholic Teaching. Melbourne: Freedom Pub., 2003, 65-85.

Wolfinger, Nicholas H. “Counterintuitive Trends in the Link Between Premarital Sex and Marital Stability.” Institute for Family Studies. 2016. https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability

Wood, Frederic C. “Sex Outside the Covenant.” Sex and the New Morality. New York: Association Press, 1968, 114-120.